People humans confuse me

Somedays when I'm just hanging out in front of my house. Somedays I don't even have a leash on and I just roam around the lawn sniffing at the grass , maybe even taking a nibble here and there. 

What I don't get is when people freak out? Maybe 1 out of ever 12, someone is scared of me, and the other 11 adore me and always want to say hi. Human people ask dumb questions to my dad like: 

Is he friendly? Duh that's why I'm hanging out here with a pink soccer ball with no leash. 

Does he bite? Umm yeah sure I'm a real killer dog. I'm a golden retriever what do do you think?

Is he OK? That's a vague and stupid question, I'm fine and dandy how bout you?

Is he neutered? That's a very sensitive subject, unfortunately doesn't look like you or your parents were so apparently perfect puppies like me aren't allowed to breed but idiots are. Sad sad world. 

I should ask them stupid questions also like Are you guys friendly?

Why you smell funny?

Do your kids bite? They look like they do I be seeing some crazy stuff on the news. 

Silly humans. Just walk along. 

SMH 

Newshound Journalism

It's no secret, my dad is a newscaster for a Filipino network, so naturally I have gravitation towards his work. Out of curiosity, but it's getting ridiculous. 

He takes me to work sometimes like a newshound. His daddy and mommy use to work in tv stations in the Philippines. He's a self proclaimed studio baby and I think he's doing the same to me. 

That's the news truck. Just a truck. Not a van with a big satellite dish. Just a truck with stickers. 

Now he's trying to dress me like him and pretend to do the news. I guess it's fun but I hate it when I have to wear glasses. I'm not a seeing eye dog. 

My daddy thinks he's some kind of Asian Clark Kent just because Superman was a journalist. Heller! Mommy is like 10 times the catch crazy Margot Kitter Lois Lane ever was and don't get me started on Kate Bosworth or Terri Hatcher as Lois Lane. You're not Christopher Reeve. You're just a Steve. 

That's not even a real phone booth! 

Then he makes me some kind of Krypto aka 

Superman's dog. 

Well news flash Mr. TV Journalist, no one recognizes you. The only reason people notice you is because of me. Filipinos see the most pogi cutest white English golden retriever ever and when they look up at the hobo that I'm walking, then they realize it's you that "guy from the TFC" bwhahahah. And stop telling people you're Juan Dela Cruz. 

The funny part is I barely get to watch daddy do his journalizing. He doesn't even have cable. Can't afford it. That's why mommy the aesthetic nurse always tells me to go to law school and just be a lawyer and do not be a law school drop out like my daddy. 

Oh well back to my studies.